Insanity becomes bliss,

Im either very happy or very sad.
i dont know which.

but i know something is happening, and im going with the flow.

but it doesnt feel the same...kinda eerie?

it doesn't feel real, ya know?

College:

The greatest thing ever conceived was the thought that knowledge should be passed on. From that main idea we've come so far as to create institutions, which not only allow you to learn just about anything you want, but even make a business out of it.... So, why am i majoring in business?

Work:

Do i dare venture out and find that one thing (job) that will truly make me happy? Why not, ofcourse i will?
Two complications that arise from this predicament are:

Not enough education.
Not enough work experience.

Paradox?

Women:

The greatest trick: the devil, god, man, any form of righteous reason; ever played, was to make everyone believe that they are sane. lol. Thanks in advance for the constructive criticism.

Life:

I love it sometimes, and i hate it sometimes.
What i can't fathom is how the world of Today, 21st century, as we modernists' refer to it, is that have we lost the will to be better. To break past the traditions, and cultures that we indulge our selves into, to lose our very curious nature. Why have we become conformists? Is it just easier, How much do we really value the opinion of others?

Ultimately, its down to this.

Will you go to college, or do anything in life, just so you can do it and boast about it to your friends, or actually go and do something that can change the world, not given thought to the significance.

(Will you become the person you wanted, or society wanted?)-Samad Basit 02/28/2010 11:51 pm.

I know i mentioned that i would explain the quote from the previous entry, but frankly its outdated and a lot has happened since my last post.
I can try to make it a regular habit of writing but as i write this, i just got back from a ten hour shift.

Good Night World. Till tomorrow at 5 a.m.

So many things have happened since i last posted.

In no chronological order here goes:

- "sam.. i dont think we should talk anymore"

You're probably wondering who said this, but i m not going to reveal who. The one thing that i want to let you know is, this, this F****** line has driven me mad, it really has driven me to the brink of insanity, and here, no pen can manifest this feeling into bliss.NONE [sic]Cause of this i've fallen in isolation, solitude, and frankly i really can't feel anything.

Your wondering, why are you taking it so hard. it was probably an unintellectual being anyways right? yea it probably was but nonetheless i have no idea why it strikes a deep cord.
I've put it behind me for so long, that i cant even remember why i felt that way, but i knew i had to write it out somewhere and it doesn't get better then this.

- I've been making so many mistakes, like no ordinary mistakes either.
A couple of weeks ago, i went out with a friend, and from that day one. I've had the worst luck. for example, i went to work sunday, and by god was that the worst day of my working life.

a.) i didnt clean the oven because i was trying to be nice to a customer who had been waiting time.
b.) i dropped the heating tray for the oven
C.) i accidentally gave someone really, really hard bread.(first time thats ever happened)
d.) i messed up a couple of orders.
e.) i thought i had 1 1/2 hour till closing, i looked at my phone and i only had 15 mins. (blow me)

But out of everything that happened, i never once let it get to me, but i always wondered why the change of fate. Why was i being messed with, what did i do to end up with such a horrid day.

For me personally, seeing as it is my experience, i think it was because of that "friend." Why was that person on my mind, why did i even care? That's what bugs me the most, why.

To be truthful, i hadn't been getting much sleep lately. I just cant fall asleep anymore, anytime that i attempt to sleep, that "friend" always pops up and says the same thing.

I hate to rant and bitch about my life, or lack of, but i just felt as i needed to get it off my chest. There are so many things going on in my mind right now, as i type this, but i just fathom how long it will take to write it out.

I'll leave you with a quote before i go, and will pick up the next entry from there.

(while eating a bagel with a close friend)

" Jeezz.. its been an hour and a half already, where did we start... ohh first school, then marriage, then what to do with your life, becoming a weapons developer, then marrying your kids with my kids. Then the note in the pocket when you die.." -zs (12.1.09)

So you might think this is pretty random. . . i assure you, it really is.

So, its about 11:00 p.m. now and i just got back from watching London Dreams with my brothers and my older brother's friend Ahmer.
So, the movie wasn't how i imagined it would've been.
So, It turned out better than i expected. i just wished for a story, a good setting, and maybe a few eye candies... :-p
So, it was about a guy who wanted to follow his dreams, his dreams of performing to an audience of 90k people.
So, it was significant.

He held his morals loose, but his focus straight.
He let nothing stand in his way..I.e. the girl after his first performance (who wanted to celebrate his performace), his family pushing him away from what he loved (music), his love for a new band member.... or the success of the band.

What my point is, (if there is one) that he knew what he wanted and he went for it, no matter what anyone else told him.

he stood for what he believed in, and he made it come true.

*I wish i had his courage.

So, your probably wondering... ok.. i see the London Dreams.. what about the "inspiration?"

well, plain an simply. It made me think of what i want to do, and with what ambition do  i want to pursue my dreams.

Will i let someone talk me into settling for a safe box. Or do i dare venture out, and seek what i truly want. Even if it means losing it all. To gain everything you wanted.

                                      For me, I just wish im happy.

THROUGH THE WINDOW

I come from a background of a farm family, owning a variety of animals, the school I attended had been the worst in the city. I would walk four miles by foot every morning, and the education I received was something of its own, math and English became my strongest subjects. I had never seen anything as technical as a plane, or ever have seen one close. I had never been out town, and thought the world was, one town. I was scared and excited to learn it was a lot bigger than I could ever imagine. My eyes had been shut from the time I was born; up to the time I got on the plane that would become my gateway to the new world. I saw beauty in the first few moments I was on the plane. I took the window seat and looked out at the horizon; the sun was setting, and casting the last of its rays for the days on the country I called home. I felt like the sun was trying to tell me something, something I never heard before, one of its rays cast upon my watering eyes, and the warmth seeped into my skin, I closed my eyes, and imagined all that I was to leave behind, all the friends, the family, the neighbors annoying dog, who for some reason I now cared for. I knew this would be the last time I would see this land for a very long time. Tears poured from my eyes, for the things I held so dear. It seemed as death was upon me, and I knew I had a short time to live, I would leave this life, and start a new, different and strange life.
When I reached the United States, I gazed through window once more to see the new opportunities that await me, I saw the sun once more, and knew I had reached my destination, my new home. I had never cared for education as a child, I did what I felt was enough to get me through, and enjoyed my time. Everyone eased off thinking I needed to adjust to the new environment. But it was more than that; I felt that I had never been challenged. Never been expected to succeed. That changed when I started the 8th grade, I had been given a chance to do what I was capable of, teachers and counselors recommended that I should be transferred to honors, because I dominated my regular classes, in every subject. Even with honors classes I proved to my family and myself that I was capable of success.
I held education as something to do, when a person is sent to school, the more you knew the more money you would make, as everyone would say. I now see education as something that has become a part of my heart. I grew fond of learning something new every day and being able to say that I know something that others might not know of. Its scary to know that there is more this world they you thought. Education led man to create things that you now take for granted, from the light bulb, to the computer, to the internet. But back to my life, I would always get this question from a teacher or survey, “what I your favorite subject in school and why?” I would never have an answer. My favorite subject was everything I was taught. I think of education as life experiences from the people who teach them. If its me alone that thinks this, great but I hold every teacher with great respect no matter who they are, what people say about them.


im not finished but its coming.!!!